What's the point? What can I do? Whatever I did, nothing gets out of it. I'm not trying hard enough? For every 2 steps I take, I'm forced to take back 4 steps!

Why the fuck did I survived the accident for? Just to be in a ditch all the same as before? Wait? How long more? Patience? How long have I been?

Fuck la

I did something today which I regretted so much but I guess one way or another it might happen. As much as I regret, I'm glad it happened this way and not something else worse than this.

I made my Baby Girl went into tears. Oh God... I just hope that, whatever happened, happened for good, for the best of us. She's the best thing in my life, ever. Although she look the most adorable when she was in tears, I won't ever want to see them again.

Baby Girl, I'm sorry, really. I'm not good in consoling but from the deepest of my heart, my best apologies, only to you...

And then the fight started.....

1. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.... So, I took her to a gas station.....

And then the fight started....


2. My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....


3. Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And then the fight started ...


4. My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started.....


5. I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started.....


6. A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."

The husband replies, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."

And then the fight started.....

Today was the best day of my life. She was so nice to me. Although it got me thinking, she might have done something silly behind me though. But, nobody are guilty until proven so.

I'm so much in love!

How do I do this? 1 main point of having so much hope in is "Love will prevail"

I've been trying as long as I can remember to communicate well with her, but I feel sad. Sad that I've yet to see her trying at all. I wouldn't know if she isn't for sure but from what my eyes see and my brains think, she doesn't. It's my heart that's keeping me calm.

My heart says she loves me a lot and it's just her nature that she doesn't talk much. At least because she has to babble in english instead of in mandarin which is I found out is kinda weird for her cause she speaks mainly in mandarin while I speak mainly in english.

Now, if only she will share with me her daily stuff, tells me her different experiences and all. This, will definitely helps us in making us closer.

-sigh-

I've never actually loved someone this much before. God, help me. Love, please dun end between us. I have no more feelings for anything else after this...

Came back 2 days ago and took the whole 2 days to settle all my unfinished business. Couldn't meet with my Huisan as she was busy with her matters so tomorrow the whole day is ours! God I miss her!

Anyway, here are some photos I took!





My baby cousin! Isn't she an adorable sight? :D



My 2 naughty cousins. This the clearest shot as they keep moving around when I wanted to take a photo of them. -,-



Found this mummy cat keep wondering in and out of the house. Took us a while to find out she actually brought her kittens in. My aunt had them taken out when she found them. The mummy disappeared later at night and returned the next day with another 3 kittens of different colours! I still don't know where these kittens in the pictures are till today after that night. :(



Called him "wabbit"! The fella died a few days after I took the picture. RIP :(







A&W! Waffles FTW! :D

And.... the pigs!





Now, if only the internet access there have matured enough, it's sure to be fun! :D

Batam's internet speed. Can't complain 'cause it's a free hotspot! although a bit badly placed. In the middle of a small forested area where it's warm during the day and itchy during the evening. Mosquitoes have a knack for this spot when I'm around. They rest never seem to scratch anything but I keep on scratching like a monkey in rage!

And here we are again, back at the "trying" to developed Batam island of Indonesia. The internet is slow as usual, trying to load a page seems like trying to load 64736436 pages simultaneously. I wonder why they never did any improvement or upgrades to it.

I now realised I can't wake up early if there's nothing to be done. Apart from watching the walls, there's nothing much that I can do here. Well, if seen vaguely. I'm still trying to discipline myself to do a regular workout to burn these fats of mine. Huisan been nagging about how fat I am (am I?) and I can't argue cause my tummy really is a lil' on a large side.

I miss that girl, my girl. Should I land myself with a job here, can she cope with me being away so far from here. She's independent and realistic but her refusal of promises is making me feel insecure.

If there's one thing I'm hoping so much for is grow old with her as husband and wife...

Do you know that your email address says so much about who you really are?

COMPLETE NAME EMAIL ADDRESSES
These are the people who are not afraid to show people who they really are, they are transparent, vocal and detailed, short of saying they are perfectionists. You can bet on them burning the midnight oil to finish what they started

FIRST NAME ONLY/ NICKNAME EMAIL ADDRESSES
These are the people who can speak out when the need arises, but not as vocal. They usually take time warming up to others, usually letting others be the one to figure them out first. That's why some people see them initially as aloof, but once you break the barrier, they can be your best friends.

INITIALS AND ABBREVIATION OF REAL NAMES EMAIL ADDRESSES
These are the people who are quite reserved, and usually have a close knit circle of friends. They are most comfortable opening up to only a number of people. They have varied likes and you need to come up with something interesting to get and hold their attention.
NAMES WITH NUMBERS
These people are sentimental and take special occasions to heart. They are usually passive but get the work done. They're like walking calendars and idealistic.

STRONG SOUNDING E MAIL ADDRESSES WITH TOTALLY NO CONNECTION TO THEIR REAL NAMES
These people see a subconscious need to come out strong-willed despite how people see them physically. They are the ones who need affirmation that they can survive the dog eat dog world and keep up with competition. They are very much concerned of their image in the eyes of others.

SWEET AS AN ANT / CUTESY EMAIL ADDRESSES
Obvious as it seems, these people want to project a sweet-as-a-daisy image to others. They love cute novelty things and are not lacking in knick knacks. They usually surround themselves with things that remind them of happy times and to feel secure. But don't let this fool you. Underneath is a fire waiting to be unleashed, and they adapt well to various environments.

EMAIL ADDRESSES WITH TOTALLY NO CONNECTION TO THEIR REAL NAMES, NEITHER IS IT STRONG SOUNDING OR SWEET
These are the people hardest to figure out. You'll never know what you're gonna be up against because they keep things to themselves. You will be surprised how much they know. They will never tell you outright that they already hate your guts because they can remain civil most of the time.

I'm the last one! And I do tend to keep things to myself and then get headache trying to solve it :(

it's a lil' wols but yeah, it's an epic

poor kitty =(

An intelligent and resourceful site about how men sees women and vice versa. Contrary to popular belief, men and women can be friends with no form of attractions needed. Well, let's get back to reality. Men will hump almost anything in their way. Funny I'm posting this as I'm a guy myself but I just want awareness for women who thinks they can trust a guy friend to be just a friend with no intentions hidden somewhere.

http://www.laddertheory.com/

Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.

So please, think about it. they send you home, they treat you nice, they claim to be such a nice friend, be warned... Listen when your boyfriend tells you a heads up. He cares for you more than you think he does

Not a very nice morning to begin with. Today marks the day I'll have nobody to feed, to lick me early in the morning, nobody to disturb me while I'm eating. My cat, Fluffy, died. He fell down from the window, 8 storey high.

I should have played with him when he came around making small noises when I entered the kitchen. He doesn't mew, always so silent. When he's in need of something, he'll just come and lick my face. He's like a younger brother to me.

Everyone in the family uses sibling connotation towards him. We treated him like part of the family, acknowledging him as a brother more than as a pet. Where could someone get a cat that doesn't bite or scratch or mew? The best temper I've ever observe in a cat. He can be pushed to an extreme corner and never even fight back. When he does something wrong and I come towards him, he'll pull back his ears and just keep quiet.

-sigh-

I hope he's happier now there in heaven among other cats.


In memories of Fluffy aka lapi 10012009. You'll always be remembered, will never be replaced... I love you, brother...

The 1st of January 2009 and I woke up at around 10am! Looks so much like I'm gonna have a good year ahead of me and I'm gonna make sure of it. =)

Let's see, new year resolution. Normally when my friends ask me this, I'd say,

"1600 x 1200"

It denotes to screen resolution and to date, I'd be the only one smiling while the rest would have this puzzled look on their faces. It's how things in my world works and I'm getting used to it.

This year I wanna try make it different. Let's see what the EOY would be...

I DO NOT EVER WANT TO QUARREL WITH YOU AGAIN, EVER! You know how much it hurts me when we quarrel, till now I regret being so vulgar towards you. I love you baby, from the core of my heart, my feelings, I do. Don't take advantage of it =(

Our private moments are the only moments that I could hold you close to me, feel you in my arms, look at you right through your beautiful eyes.

Baby, there are reasons to my actions and I believe that I've been fair on both aspect, words and actions. Both have been equally expressed to you and kept you secure, without worries. I want your expressions, in either aspect. I can't live in assumptions forever. The only thing that I've been surviving on all this while when we are together are my assumptions that you love me and not on reality that, maybe you love me, maybe you don't. I don't know.


Should one day my words were taken away from me, my actions speaks for itself and should one day my actions were taken away from me, my words will expressed my feelings, my thoughts. I comprehend entirely on your nature, your reserved and shy nature however, to make this works, we have to give in, making exceptions, sacrifice. The way I see us, I believe it so much that we can go to a higher level, if you are ready, whenever you are ready. We have the potential, it's just waiting for you. I'm not looking at us in a playful kind of relationship but in a manner of a serious one.

" The foundation of a relationship is knowing that the other party love you "

Don't turn me into a cold hearted individual who see nothing on the aspect of love. That's the reason why I posted that image and I'd hope you'd understand. It's turning cold because there's no warmth, from you...

ask me why, and maybe I'll explain it... try to decipher it yourself, you won't ever know what it means...

What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there

What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word

It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word

What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word

-sigh-

another day goes by...

A normal man is shaped by his environment.

A good man makes changes to his life so that the environment works to his advantage.

A determined man discards the depressing environment to change his life.

A great man labours all his life to change his environment for the better.

Which one I am, I can choose to be

all this while, I've never done things without a reason. there's always one but there's a slight problem, I don't state them.

baby, when I realised I fell in love with you, I couldn't find a reason why. i didn't like you because of the way you look, the way you dressed or the way you carry yourself. but I noticed you when I found out the way you see things, the way you think. I've always have a knack for what's within the mind and not body.

remember those 3 days we spent together when before I had to be away for a mth? Remember how we cherished those times? we had each other to the max cause we know we'd be missing each other's presence while I'm away. I missed those times, and I wish that 3 days didn't end.

When you said yes when I popped the question if you'd like to fill the void in my heart, I couldn't forget the feelings, the rush, the moment. I saw things differently before I met you, I see the female species as professional liars and trusting them is a wrong thing to do, it would be hurtful. I was betrayed before and scars don't fade when they heal, they leave an impression.

This impression is the reason why I'm this way. You are not a rebound, I was entirely out of love when we met, I was cold before you came. I'm this way because of experience. Bit by bit I've been letting my guard down, trusting you more and more. If by now you haven't been trusting me enough, so do I. Time is of the essence here, and from time to time, these small incident has led me to believe, I can trust you, I can believe in you, us.

Don't quit now. It took me a while to realised you're an ice princess and in turn helps me to understand bit by bit the nature of you, the reason why you don't speak of your feelings. It's then, I learnt that I can't judge your love for me by words but by actions. You know this has helps us to bring down quarrels to zero when we are out. I'm protective of you, because of my love for you. Even if you are someone firm in your heart, troubles that might hit you won't give a thought on that manner. I'm just trying not to put us in a situation where we betrayed each other's trust. You may see other guys as friends totally and nothing more but what makes you think the others guys won't see you in a similar manner. I trust you won't want to see issue where I have to intervene and matters become bigger and more serious. What we see upon others may not necessarily be what others see upon us, this is reality.

Don't see this small quarrels as a negative, see it in a positive manner. It has helps us to understand a lot more of each others nature. Some things cannot be told, can only be learn. I gave you my word, I'll never even raise my voice at you and I believe you've never seen me done so. The level of security that I gave you, has made you never to doubt my feelings, my faithfulness towards you.

Give us a chance baby, a chance to iron every issue that we have. Similarities is an instant hit but loses out on the long road. There's still so much we can venture out of each other.

-sigh-

we need more time to get used to the way we do things. I love you baby... I'm protective of you because I love you and I want our relationship to work, not because I'm a control freak. Trust me, when insecurities have been iron out, things will escalate better and not worse.

Think about it, Rome wasn't built in a day...