I miss you...

I'm refusing to sleep so that I could get my sleep pattern back tonight. In the mean time, I came across these!

start of a new working style. this October is gonna be the mth, THE MTH! it's either I make it or break it. either I go all out, all the tricks up my sleeve or I'd better be just rot at home. for the sake of my future, I'm gonna make it and prove to myself =)

halfway through the blk today, I got demoralized. the blk sucks and I can't hop through the staircase well. went down and watch the drain instead, for a moment. but it's rather wasteful so I thought up a different solution and yeah, got my sale for the day. ain't much but yeah, i did went through. she was on my mind through the whole walkthough. don't ask me who ok? you know yourself who you are =) fatty!

it's early in the morning and I missed her so much *sigh* I'd do anything to meet her even if it's just 5 mins =/

*sigh*

went out last night with a couple of friends. it's been a while since I've seen the night scenery of ECP, still looks relaxing :)

went to the sky bridge near Henderson. it's so nice! but too far off to bring my baby there for a walk. maybe 1 day when I manage to get hold of a vehicle. ^___^

anyway, on the way back to east coast, we played a bit. 2 400cc vs 1 600cc. was pretty scary but... err... nice? =D we were at 160 when the 600cc passed by us at 190. behold the power! haha! I glued myself to the seat and kept my head low but my slippers nearly flew away =o btw, before you people assume anything, I'm just the pillion, wasn't the rider =)

was feeling sick the next day (today) so I stayed at home the whole day. *sniff*

Got scolded today by Yean for being a lazy bastard =( I agree with him, but... but... the way he put it, I partially don't. *sigh*

Wasn't motivated at all to knock but I couldn't let myself be without closing any sales just because I don't feel like it. I find it unprofessional. So i still carry on to knock not because I wanna prove him wrong but to prove myself that I can work in any circumstances. Got 1 sale, only one before I run out of time =( Must knock earlier next time. Must!

My baby girl having her exams, hopefully she's doing ok. Actually, I'm confident that she's doing it good, pretty confident. I have this fetish for smart, bright girl and that's the reason why she caught my attention in the 1st place. =)

Must... learn... to... sleep... early...

Knocked the whole day today without anything. Guess sometimes it has to happen anyway. But, there's always tomorrow =)

I have to spend more time talking to my baby girl then playing game. It's ok now since it's exam period but when it's over, my time are all on hers =)

*yawn* sleepy...

I'm on the way to back on track and therefore I must keep negative thoughts away from myself. The mind is stronger than the body. If I think of my aims and totally focus on it, I'll make it for sure. What people say is not what I am...

I'm feeling a lil' bit distanced from my baby girl and I hate it. Is it because of her exams coming up or it is because of my game schedule after work? I'm so gonna spend all my time with her after her exams =)

OMG! I'm so stressed out, I smoked!

As expected and as the way I want it to be, my birthday wasn't taken note of by anymore except the few. My baby girl stayed up till late just to wish me. Thank you sweetheart =) Next up was my closest friend, my bro, Aris. Thanks bro... And to everyone else who actually remembered, thanks =) Yean, thanks =)

Had a bad day canvassing today. Sometimes being nice just doesn't pay. I asked nicely if they are having any current services with my coy, what do I get? Vulgarities spewed into my face. Thanks but no thanks. The next time you wanna hurl verbal abuse at someone, remember, put nothing in between you and the victim especially a locked gate. At the very least, you could see the outcome of your creative use of words.

On the way home, I was asked the question, "Of everybody that knows you, I know you best." True, to some extend. The rest of the percentage, I don't think so. Everybody sees it the same way, my only problem is financial related. Yup, correct. 100%? No, I'm sorry. I won't ever explain, neither will I ever talk about it. As my baby girl always believe, "Virgo likes to keep to themselves" I have a troubled mind even when I'm earning anything. To some extend, I'm worried too much till I got lost as to what I'm worried of.

sigh.... time will be of much assistance I guess...

Life sucks, be it real life or virtual life. Some clueless wonders from above decides to create something just to make fun of. Thanks a lot... really...

I'm back to the point when I need to knock the entire blk for a single sale... wtf! I can't walk a lot now than before the accident and I have to force myself to walk from top to the btm. *sigh*

One thing I realised is, should you have no talent in a particular field, whatever you do, however hard you try, you can make it sure, but only to a mediocre level. It's this thought now that's making me depressed. All this while I'm lying to myself to go through and someday maybe I will be pretty good at it. Problem is, my thoughts rejecting my words of lies and I'm pretty depressed.

Consulting in friends doesn't help as people only comments and advised on what they see and feel. Guess I need professional help =/

Just finished DotA-ing! The coordination now is much better than previous matches =p tossing Alvin around is fun!

I miss someone. Miss her voice, miss her scent =(

Work was boring today. The blk sucks! It's not salesman friendly! The routes are messy! Didn't manage to close anything as I couldn't even be bothered to speak to anyone let alone negotiate. But we did earn a bit in another manner =D

I'm hungry...

Just finished watching "Never Back Down". Review? It's a blank movie with ample action. Kickboxing vs Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. 'nuff said

Anyway, I regret going to work today. We were sitting at the void deck and talking cock throughout the 3 hours -,- If I had known there wasn't blk list with us yet, I wouldn't even be present.

Went to Geylang Serai bazaar afterwards to grab some Ramly burgers. This year the bazaar looks crappy, I don't even know where to start looking for food. When we found it, only limited choice of stalls. And guess what? The burgers taste aweful... Think I better drop the idea of bringing my baby girl to try the food... Along the way, I met my ex-lecturer! The man who taught me the hands on of IT! He's in the real estate now, just nice that I'm wanting to start my referrals =)

*yawn* it's late... time to... ZzZzZzZz....

bad day, the whole day...

it has come to a point now that my only concern is myself and no one else. everybody else can go and die for all I care and if I do, please don't care, thank you. Don't wish to talk about it but yeah, that's how I'd like it to be.

It doesn't matter if I live for 2 years but with someone I love rather than live a thousand years with no one. I'm taking bike to work on Monday. My conscience is clear, I'm going to work and not going to race. By God's Will, my life is bad enough, I don't really think he's going to make it worse. Everything that happens, happened for a reason and not for fun. The previous accident happened because we thought we were the King of the road, we weren't and learn our lesson well. This time, it's for good...

To that special someone who resides in my heart, I promise you I won't die before our love ends, even if it's forever...

Today was a stupid day. No blk list, no blks. Wasting my time by going to work today.

Apparently, some people get rich by selling a $10 pen to the public. Ridiculous tactics by MLM, supported by mindless brainwashed individuals. Lucky me, I'm not as senseless *phew* These clueless robots really worshipped their "upline"... dumb...

So, in a relationship, the BF should always clap and cheer to what the GF prefers to do even if he doesn't like the idea? Friends doesn't equate to angels... they may be nice now, doesn't mean they are nice always. They are good opportunities and bad opportunities. Be smart

Someone's bugging me to update my oh-so-dead blog and... erm... I'm trying... :)

So today is the 1st day I'm back to work after a 6 mths disappearance. Boy, was the holiday good. Although the 1st half of the holiday are all painful memories, the 2nd half was goooooood! :D (the best part was being able to see my piglet on a weekly basis)

Well, anyway, it's all not that bad now, yet. Have to admit I'm a tad lost on pitching and all but thanks to my colleagues, I made through the day... err... wait, night... *phew*

Let's see what tomorrow has in store for me :)