Friday, December 26, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Our private moments are the only moments that I could hold you close to me, feel you in my arms, look at you right through your beautiful eyes.
Baby, there are reasons to my actions and I believe that I've been fair on both aspect, words and actions. Both have been equally expressed to you and kept you secure, without worries. I want your expressions, in either aspect. I can't live in assumptions forever. The only thing that I've been surviving on all this while when we are together are my assumptions that you love me and not on reality that, maybe you love me, maybe you don't. I don't know.
Should one day my words were taken away from me, my actions speaks for itself and should one day my actions were taken away from me, my words will expressed my feelings, my thoughts. I comprehend entirely on your nature, your reserved and shy nature however, to make this works, we have to give in, making exceptions, sacrifice. The way I see us, I believe it so much that we can go to a higher level, if you are ready, whenever you are ready. We have the potential, it's just waiting for you. I'm not looking at us in a playful kind of relationship but in a manner of a serious one.
" The foundation of a relationship is knowing that the other party love you "
Don't turn me into a cold hearted individual who see nothing on the aspect of love. That's the reason why I posted that image and I'd hope you'd understand. It's turning cold because there's no warmth, from you...
Baby, there are reasons to my actions and I believe that I've been fair on both aspect, words and actions. Both have been equally expressed to you and kept you secure, without worries. I want your expressions, in either aspect. I can't live in assumptions forever. The only thing that I've been surviving on all this while when we are together are my assumptions that you love me and not on reality that, maybe you love me, maybe you don't. I don't know.
Should one day my words were taken away from me, my actions speaks for itself and should one day my actions were taken away from me, my words will expressed my feelings, my thoughts. I comprehend entirely on your nature, your reserved and shy nature however, to make this works, we have to give in, making exceptions, sacrifice. The way I see us, I believe it so much that we can go to a higher level, if you are ready, whenever you are ready. We have the potential, it's just waiting for you. I'm not looking at us in a playful kind of relationship but in a manner of a serious one.
" The foundation of a relationship is knowing that the other party love you "
Don't turn me into a cold hearted individual who see nothing on the aspect of love. That's the reason why I posted that image and I'd hope you'd understand. It's turning cold because there's no warmth, from you...
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
What have I got to do to make you love me
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
What have I got to do to make you care
What do I do when lightning strikes me
And I wake to find that you're not there
What do I do to make you want me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I say when it's all over
And sorry seems to be the hardest word
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
What do I do to make you love me
What have I got to do to be heard
What do I do when lightning strikes me
What have I got to do
What have I got to do
When sorry seems to be the hardest word
-sigh-
another day goes by...
Which one I am, I can choose to be
another day goes by...
A normal man is shaped by his environment.
A good man makes changes to his life so that the environment works to his advantage.
A determined man discards the depressing environment to change his life.
A great man labours all his life to change his environment for the better.
Which one I am, I can choose to be
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
all this while, I've never done things without a reason. there's always one but there's a slight problem, I don't state them.
baby, when I realised I fell in love with you, I couldn't find a reason why. i didn't like you because of the way you look, the way you dressed or the way you carry yourself. but I noticed you when I found out the way you see things, the way you think. I've always have a knack for what's within the mind and not body.
remember those 3 days we spent together when before I had to be away for a mth? Remember how we cherished those times? we had each other to the max cause we know we'd be missing each other's presence while I'm away. I missed those times, and I wish that 3 days didn't end.
When you said yes when I popped the question if you'd like to fill the void in my heart, I couldn't forget the feelings, the rush, the moment. I saw things differently before I met you, I see the female species as professional liars and trusting them is a wrong thing to do, it would be hurtful. I was betrayed before and scars don't fade when they heal, they leave an impression.
This impression is the reason why I'm this way. You are not a rebound, I was entirely out of love when we met, I was cold before you came. I'm this way because of experience. Bit by bit I've been letting my guard down, trusting you more and more. If by now you haven't been trusting me enough, so do I. Time is of the essence here, and from time to time, these small incident has led me to believe, I can trust you, I can believe in you, us.
Don't quit now. It took me a while to realised you're an ice princess and in turn helps me to understand bit by bit the nature of you, the reason why you don't speak of your feelings. It's then, I learnt that I can't judge your love for me by words but by actions. You know this has helps us to bring down quarrels to zero when we are out. I'm protective of you, because of my love for you. Even if you are someone firm in your heart, troubles that might hit you won't give a thought on that manner. I'm just trying not to put us in a situation where we betrayed each other's trust. You may see other guys as friends totally and nothing more but what makes you think the others guys won't see you in a similar manner. I trust you won't want to see issue where I have to intervene and matters become bigger and more serious. What we see upon others may not necessarily be what others see upon us, this is reality.
Don't see this small quarrels as a negative, see it in a positive manner. It has helps us to understand a lot more of each others nature. Some things cannot be told, can only be learn. I gave you my word, I'll never even raise my voice at you and I believe you've never seen me done so. The level of security that I gave you, has made you never to doubt my feelings, my faithfulness towards you.
Give us a chance baby, a chance to iron every issue that we have. Similarities is an instant hit but loses out on the long road. There's still so much we can venture out of each other.
-sigh-
we need more time to get used to the way we do things. I love you baby... I'm protective of you because I love you and I want our relationship to work, not because I'm a control freak. Trust me, when insecurities have been iron out, things will escalate better and not worse.
Think about it, Rome wasn't built in a day...
baby, when I realised I fell in love with you, I couldn't find a reason why. i didn't like you because of the way you look, the way you dressed or the way you carry yourself. but I noticed you when I found out the way you see things, the way you think. I've always have a knack for what's within the mind and not body.
remember those 3 days we spent together when before I had to be away for a mth? Remember how we cherished those times? we had each other to the max cause we know we'd be missing each other's presence while I'm away. I missed those times, and I wish that 3 days didn't end.
When you said yes when I popped the question if you'd like to fill the void in my heart, I couldn't forget the feelings, the rush, the moment. I saw things differently before I met you, I see the female species as professional liars and trusting them is a wrong thing to do, it would be hurtful. I was betrayed before and scars don't fade when they heal, they leave an impression.
This impression is the reason why I'm this way. You are not a rebound, I was entirely out of love when we met, I was cold before you came. I'm this way because of experience. Bit by bit I've been letting my guard down, trusting you more and more. If by now you haven't been trusting me enough, so do I. Time is of the essence here, and from time to time, these small incident has led me to believe, I can trust you, I can believe in you, us.
Don't quit now. It took me a while to realised you're an ice princess and in turn helps me to understand bit by bit the nature of you, the reason why you don't speak of your feelings. It's then, I learnt that I can't judge your love for me by words but by actions. You know this has helps us to bring down quarrels to zero when we are out. I'm protective of you, because of my love for you. Even if you are someone firm in your heart, troubles that might hit you won't give a thought on that manner. I'm just trying not to put us in a situation where we betrayed each other's trust. You may see other guys as friends totally and nothing more but what makes you think the others guys won't see you in a similar manner. I trust you won't want to see issue where I have to intervene and matters become bigger and more serious. What we see upon others may not necessarily be what others see upon us, this is reality.
Don't see this small quarrels as a negative, see it in a positive manner. It has helps us to understand a lot more of each others nature. Some things cannot be told, can only be learn. I gave you my word, I'll never even raise my voice at you and I believe you've never seen me done so. The level of security that I gave you, has made you never to doubt my feelings, my faithfulness towards you.
Give us a chance baby, a chance to iron every issue that we have. Similarities is an instant hit but loses out on the long road. There's still so much we can venture out of each other.
-sigh-
we need more time to get used to the way we do things. I love you baby... I'm protective of you because I love you and I want our relationship to work, not because I'm a control freak. Trust me, when insecurities have been iron out, things will escalate better and not worse.
Think about it, Rome wasn't built in a day...
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Depression - I'm depressed and I can't seem to help it. I know the solution, at least 3/4 of it to solve my problems but even when I'm trying to solve, my mind keeps worrying. Anyone that I tried to talk to, doesn't gives me assurance but questions my solution methods or questions me back with answerless questions in return.
Some say I think too much and it's been a while and I'm still trying not to think too much but no, things keeps popping inside my head, demanding answers! I've tried to live day by day without much thoughts for tomorrow but tomorrow keeps demanding answers. To makes matters worse, there's like no one that I could turn to, to help me cope. Whoever I ask, will only gives me more depressing answers. There's still some people left for me to turn to but problem is, I don't know if these people could help. My GF, my Mum, my elder sister, these are my last resort before I guess I have to turn to professional help. I'm trying to forget to worries with turning to work and making me busy or entertaining my sweetheart but I know, I can only elude from problems for so long before reality catches up! :(
Insomnia - Problems with sleeping, even if I manage to catch my 40 winks, it will only last a maximum of 6 hours, barely. Whenever I lie down, worries run through my head, making me linger into black hole, going nowhere. Worse when I'm about to fall asleep, feeling of worry will make me awake suddenly. The only way I could make myself fall asleep is when I tire myself out which I'm half unable to do cause I can't concentrate fully with my worries troubling me.
-sigh- Why was I brought back from my near death experience? What am I fated to be? I tried to be what I want to be but there's so many obstacles and I'm weary from overcoming them. I'll never give up for sure but I know there's only so much I can take before my minds gives way and I go nuts...
Some say I think too much and it's been a while and I'm still trying not to think too much but no, things keeps popping inside my head, demanding answers! I've tried to live day by day without much thoughts for tomorrow but tomorrow keeps demanding answers. To makes matters worse, there's like no one that I could turn to, to help me cope. Whoever I ask, will only gives me more depressing answers. There's still some people left for me to turn to but problem is, I don't know if these people could help. My GF, my Mum, my elder sister, these are my last resort before I guess I have to turn to professional help. I'm trying to forget to worries with turning to work and making me busy or entertaining my sweetheart but I know, I can only elude from problems for so long before reality catches up! :(
Insomnia - Problems with sleeping, even if I manage to catch my 40 winks, it will only last a maximum of 6 hours, barely. Whenever I lie down, worries run through my head, making me linger into black hole, going nowhere. Worse when I'm about to fall asleep, feeling of worry will make me awake suddenly. The only way I could make myself fall asleep is when I tire myself out which I'm half unable to do cause I can't concentrate fully with my worries troubling me.
-sigh- Why was I brought back from my near death experience? What am I fated to be? I tried to be what I want to be but there's so many obstacles and I'm weary from overcoming them. I'll never give up for sure but I know there's only so much I can take before my minds gives way and I go nuts...
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
Some interesting lines that I got from a fellow forumer
We, can't change who we are but nobody is stopping us to be what we wanna be.
A normal man is shaped by his environment.
A good man makes changes to his life so that the environment works to his advantage.
A determined man discards the depressing environment to change his life.
A great man labours all his life to change his environment for the better.
We, can't change who we are but nobody is stopping us to be what we wanna be.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Had a great day today despite some hiccups here and there. Went to watched Madagascar 2 and I found out that my baby girl can really laugh! :o
Came home feeling disappointed though, but I have to learn how to accept things the way it is. I love her for what she is, not for what I want her to be. If this is the way she is, then I have to learn to accept it. Everything comes in a package and I opt for unconditional love. But i guess a lil' rant could help me feel better :)
I purposely took her to see cameras to remind her and yeah, she didn't get the hint at all. I just wanna see if she's all hype about have pictures taken with me but unfortunately, i don't think so, judging from situations to situations that we've both come across. I admit I still do get jealous seeing her pictures taken with other guys but what can I do? Understanding and trust in important in a relationship. I'm trying my best to instill that into ours cause I want this to work, with all my heart. I don't mind if my heart stopped beating while we are still together. At least I'll die assuming that she loves me, if not knowing definitely that she loves me.
She told me once,
"I really love you but I do not know how to show it"
The answer is simple, affection and intimacy. These are the 2 apart from trust and understanding that makes a relationship strong and lasting, loving and with securities.
I've been understanding enough of her shy nature with public affection and I've taken another route instead, enjoying our bus ride home. This is the few moments where we could be together out of public eyes as she wants it. But no, I don't think she's aware of it. Affection and intimacy cannot be forced, it won't be called love then.
When we are out, I feel like I'm out with a friend, but there's only so much I can do. Tell her about it? Pointless, things won't change.
All I know, I love her entirely. I've always been honest and treat her with respect over her dos and donts. With this, I believe we can make it. The rest is up to her and our fate together...
Came home feeling disappointed though, but I have to learn how to accept things the way it is. I love her for what she is, not for what I want her to be. If this is the way she is, then I have to learn to accept it. Everything comes in a package and I opt for unconditional love. But i guess a lil' rant could help me feel better :)
I purposely took her to see cameras to remind her and yeah, she didn't get the hint at all. I just wanna see if she's all hype about have pictures taken with me but unfortunately, i don't think so, judging from situations to situations that we've both come across. I admit I still do get jealous seeing her pictures taken with other guys but what can I do? Understanding and trust in important in a relationship. I'm trying my best to instill that into ours cause I want this to work, with all my heart. I don't mind if my heart stopped beating while we are still together. At least I'll die assuming that she loves me, if not knowing definitely that she loves me.
She told me once,
"I really love you but I do not know how to show it"
The answer is simple, affection and intimacy. These are the 2 apart from trust and understanding that makes a relationship strong and lasting, loving and with securities.
I've been understanding enough of her shy nature with public affection and I've taken another route instead, enjoying our bus ride home. This is the few moments where we could be together out of public eyes as she wants it. But no, I don't think she's aware of it. Affection and intimacy cannot be forced, it won't be called love then.
When we are out, I feel like I'm out with a friend, but there's only so much I can do. Tell her about it? Pointless, things won't change.
All I know, I love her entirely. I've always been honest and treat her with respect over her dos and donts. With this, I believe we can make it. The rest is up to her and our fate together...
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Mmm... is it that I'm having mental issues or is it my expectation simply too high or she bo chup?
It's been like a few days since she got so mad at me, interesting facts I ponder on over a few days ago.
1. When we are planning our outings, dates or whatever it's called, I realised that friends takes priority over me. Fine with me if it's a very important matters to attend to but yeah, I don't quite see the importance. Problem is, if it happens that we have our date on a particular date and her friend happen to ask her out on that day, ours get postponed. I didn't see the vice versa effect otherwise.
2. When we are out, shops that I entered will bore her to death, but hers don't have the same effect on me. Honestly, it's not that it doesn't have, I guess I can relate. The world doesn't revolve around me, I revolve around the world. Fair? Maybe, if I bring her somewhere to sit down and talk matters concerning us, it bores her to death. Good thing is, she's honest about it and tells me straight that she's bored, let's go somewhere interesting. It sure looks like running away from problems and not solving them, hence the frequent bickering over the same issue, everytime.
3. Over our dreaded quarrel sometime back, I posted my problems on a public forum and I got a very interesting points to ponder about,
"if u're mostly ang moh pai, and she's mostly chinese, you sure u guys communicate well? u say when u're out mostly ish u tokking. that sounds like one-way communication. 9 months already she's not said that she loves u. not that it's a criteria la, but after so long, how sure are you about her feelings? u sure she's not with u cos u earning money and being a roberto?"
this particular post makes me wonder, is she really that shy that it gets priority over her feelings for me? I even simplified the question into a "yes" or "no" question and she still won't answer me directly. She once said that she only speaks of stuff that comes from her heart on relationship concerning matters. if that's the case, she's refusing to say it out because she's shy or is the above quoted sentence true? I might never know...
4. I was asked, "why are you so insecure about and don't trust me...". It was very interesting that I was asked this question by her but it seems that answer falls over deaf ears.
Even before our dating stage, I was looked upon as a guy that doesn't provide any sense of security. It changed definitely after we got together, evidently cause I asked her about it and I got a positive answer. I went great extend to make her feel secure. Now problem is, in return I didn't get any feelings of securities, nothing. I've yet to see her trying, and honestly, I didn't see even a start of it.
Same shit when I ask her face to face, no answer and a turn of the head. I asked tricked questions like
" are you pissed if I flirt with another girl "
" what if the girls flirts with me "
and the answers that I get are simply outrageous.
" I'll just break off with you "
I would've preferred
" why would you flirt? aren't we attached? aren't you my bf? "
but yeah, no I didn't get such answers.
I'd be damned to say if I'm feeling 0% secure but the percentage of feeling secure is only like 10%? Knowing the fact that her thoughts works on logic and our intimate moments are the only thing that makes me feel secure but unfortunately, sense of securities are best fed from time to time and instead of getting fed, I get deprived! Right now, I'm just assuming blindly that she loves me, without any evidence, without any proof, without any words of assurance. I might wake up from being ignorant, but I don't actually think she cares.
Every single say, I ask myself what I did to deserve this. Fortunately, I'm a man of my word, I gave my word, I'll love her unconditionally, wholeheartedly. I'll never lie nor will I cheat on her and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. The world is round, what you do to hurt others, will eventually comes back to you.
I'm not complaining here, just ranting...
It's been like a few days since she got so mad at me, interesting facts I ponder on over a few days ago.
1. When we are planning our outings, dates or whatever it's called, I realised that friends takes priority over me. Fine with me if it's a very important matters to attend to but yeah, I don't quite see the importance. Problem is, if it happens that we have our date on a particular date and her friend happen to ask her out on that day, ours get postponed. I didn't see the vice versa effect otherwise.
2. When we are out, shops that I entered will bore her to death, but hers don't have the same effect on me. Honestly, it's not that it doesn't have, I guess I can relate. The world doesn't revolve around me, I revolve around the world. Fair? Maybe, if I bring her somewhere to sit down and talk matters concerning us, it bores her to death. Good thing is, she's honest about it and tells me straight that she's bored, let's go somewhere interesting. It sure looks like running away from problems and not solving them, hence the frequent bickering over the same issue, everytime.
3. Over our dreaded quarrel sometime back, I posted my problems on a public forum and I got a very interesting points to ponder about,
"if u're mostly ang moh pai, and she's mostly chinese, you sure u guys communicate well? u say when u're out mostly ish u tokking. that sounds like one-way communication. 9 months already she's not said that she loves u. not that it's a criteria la, but after so long, how sure are you about her feelings? u sure she's not with u cos u earning money and being a roberto?"
this particular post makes me wonder, is she really that shy that it gets priority over her feelings for me? I even simplified the question into a "yes" or "no" question and she still won't answer me directly. She once said that she only speaks of stuff that comes from her heart on relationship concerning matters. if that's the case, she's refusing to say it out because she's shy or is the above quoted sentence true? I might never know...
4. I was asked, "why are you so insecure about and don't trust me...". It was very interesting that I was asked this question by her but it seems that answer falls over deaf ears.
Even before our dating stage, I was looked upon as a guy that doesn't provide any sense of security. It changed definitely after we got together, evidently cause I asked her about it and I got a positive answer. I went great extend to make her feel secure. Now problem is, in return I didn't get any feelings of securities, nothing. I've yet to see her trying, and honestly, I didn't see even a start of it.
Same shit when I ask her face to face, no answer and a turn of the head. I asked tricked questions like
" are you pissed if I flirt with another girl "
" what if the girls flirts with me "
and the answers that I get are simply outrageous.
" I'll just break off with you "
I would've preferred
" why would you flirt? aren't we attached? aren't you my bf? "
but yeah, no I didn't get such answers.
I'd be damned to say if I'm feeling 0% secure but the percentage of feeling secure is only like 10%? Knowing the fact that her thoughts works on logic and our intimate moments are the only thing that makes me feel secure but unfortunately, sense of securities are best fed from time to time and instead of getting fed, I get deprived! Right now, I'm just assuming blindly that she loves me, without any evidence, without any proof, without any words of assurance. I might wake up from being ignorant, but I don't actually think she cares.
Every single say, I ask myself what I did to deserve this. Fortunately, I'm a man of my word, I gave my word, I'll love her unconditionally, wholeheartedly. I'll never lie nor will I cheat on her and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. The world is round, what you do to hurt others, will eventually comes back to you.
I'm not complaining here, just ranting...
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Went to extract a bad tooth today. Found out that it's actually my wisdom tooth when I was at the clinic. Imagine the horror! Heard all these gruesome stories about the surgery needed to extract a wisdom tooth~ scary! =(
The dentist told me he could try to pull it out for me, but if it fails, he would have to perform surgery to get it out. I was pretty scared but I just took my chances and just try to do a normal extraction on it.
Luckily it was successful! The needle look big! scares the shit out of me =p
Went home and the pain was pulsating from my gums to my head! Took the medicine given and went to sleep. Woke up and the pain is gone! =D
The dentist told me he could try to pull it out for me, but if it fails, he would have to perform surgery to get it out. I was pretty scared but I just took my chances and just try to do a normal extraction on it.
Luckily it was successful! The needle look big! scares the shit out of me =p
Went home and the pain was pulsating from my gums to my head! Took the medicine given and went to sleep. Woke up and the pain is gone! =D
Friday, November 21, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
the feelings of getting lost soon is creeping up on my silently. at this moment now, my mind ain't working in a sane manner. some part of it is running simulations of future events, some is running thoughts of mth end event, some running all around thoughts of my baby girl.
something happened few days back that would have happened later on in life. it's just a lil' earlier than predicted and honestly, I'm partially ready for the outcome. I know one day I will have to run solo without anyone alongside to motivate me on. how long I can last, God knows but one thing for sure, I am very much glad I managed to gather quite a handful of important skills and knowledge.
I'm on a self motivated spree now and I know as long as I keep only the positive portion and remain deaf on the negative portion, I can keep up my present performance.
that aside, why is it that until now I'm still feeling insecure of things? to be precise, matters of the heart. it is said that the unsaid feelings are the most powerful of it while the said ones are empty words. I just hope it is that way.
you'll be the last, if this doesn't work, i dun wish to get involve in another...
something happened few days back that would have happened later on in life. it's just a lil' earlier than predicted and honestly, I'm partially ready for the outcome. I know one day I will have to run solo without anyone alongside to motivate me on. how long I can last, God knows but one thing for sure, I am very much glad I managed to gather quite a handful of important skills and knowledge.
I'm on a self motivated spree now and I know as long as I keep only the positive portion and remain deaf on the negative portion, I can keep up my present performance.
that aside, why is it that until now I'm still feeling insecure of things? to be precise, matters of the heart. it is said that the unsaid feelings are the most powerful of it while the said ones are empty words. I just hope it is that way.
you'll be the last, if this doesn't work, i dun wish to get involve in another...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
found out an alarming piece of news yesterday. from the way I deciphered it, it states " Hi Rio, just to let you know that your sex life for the remaining of your life is gonna be boring, and contains no variety at all. blowjobs are extinct! " OMG! :o
*sigh* but if she's gonna give me pretty kids cause she's so adorable herself, I don't mind. After marriage, I believe a guy's life as a husband is all about his wife and kids and nothing else matters. Beautiful kids and a loyal wife means more to me than anything else in the world.
Just don't make it too extreme pls =/ sex once a mth is totally unacceptable, period!
*sigh* but if she's gonna give me pretty kids cause she's so adorable herself, I don't mind. After marriage, I believe a guy's life as a husband is all about his wife and kids and nothing else matters. Beautiful kids and a loyal wife means more to me than anything else in the world.
Just don't make it too extreme pls =/ sex once a mth is totally unacceptable, period!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
I can't believe I slept through till late yesterday. Feel so disappointed and blew all my plans. Maybe Yean was right. He once told me that my sleeping habit will one day bring me problems. *sigh* Didn't meant to stood her up.
However, I did all I could to make it to meet her. Took the ever so expensive cab all the way to bugis just so I could meet my adorable huggy. *hug*
My NUH appointment is tomorrow and all I'm hoping for is another 3 mths extension. I need that stay for the year end. I have to make it! .><.
However, I did all I could to make it to meet her. Took the ever so expensive cab all the way to bugis just so I could meet my adorable huggy. *hug*
My NUH appointment is tomorrow and all I'm hoping for is another 3 mths extension. I need that stay for the year end. I have to make it! .><.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
start of a new working style. this October is gonna be the mth, THE MTH! it's either I make it or break it. either I go all out, all the tricks up my sleeve or I'd better be just rot at home. for the sake of my future, I'm gonna make it and prove to myself =)
halfway through the blk today, I got demoralized. the blk sucks and I can't hop through the staircase well. went down and watch the drain instead, for a moment. but it's rather wasteful so I thought up a different solution and yeah, got my sale for the day. ain't much but yeah, i did went through. she was on my mind through the whole walkthough. don't ask me who ok? you know yourself who you are =) fatty!
it's early in the morning and I missed her so much *sigh* I'd do anything to meet her even if it's just 5 mins =/
*sigh*
halfway through the blk today, I got demoralized. the blk sucks and I can't hop through the staircase well. went down and watch the drain instead, for a moment. but it's rather wasteful so I thought up a different solution and yeah, got my sale for the day. ain't much but yeah, i did went through. she was on my mind through the whole walkthough. don't ask me who ok? you know yourself who you are =) fatty!
it's early in the morning and I missed her so much *sigh* I'd do anything to meet her even if it's just 5 mins =/
*sigh*
Friday, September 26, 2008
went out last night with a couple of friends. it's been a while since I've seen the night scenery of ECP, still looks relaxing :)
went to the sky bridge near Henderson. it's so nice! but too far off to bring my baby there for a walk. maybe 1 day when I manage to get hold of a vehicle. ^___^
anyway, on the way back to east coast, we played a bit. 2 400cc vs 1 600cc. was pretty scary but... err... nice? =D we were at 160 when the 600cc passed by us at 190. behold the power! haha! I glued myself to the seat and kept my head low but my slippers nearly flew away =o btw, before you people assume anything, I'm just the pillion, wasn't the rider =)
was feeling sick the next day (today) so I stayed at home the whole day. *sniff*
went to the sky bridge near Henderson. it's so nice! but too far off to bring my baby there for a walk. maybe 1 day when I manage to get hold of a vehicle. ^___^
anyway, on the way back to east coast, we played a bit. 2 400cc vs 1 600cc. was pretty scary but... err... nice? =D we were at 160 when the 600cc passed by us at 190. behold the power! haha! I glued myself to the seat and kept my head low but my slippers nearly flew away =o btw, before you people assume anything, I'm just the pillion, wasn't the rider =)
was feeling sick the next day (today) so I stayed at home the whole day. *sniff*
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Got scolded today by Yean for being a lazy bastard =( I agree with him, but... but... the way he put it, I partially don't. *sigh*
Wasn't motivated at all to knock but I couldn't let myself be without closing any sales just because I don't feel like it. I find it unprofessional. So i still carry on to knock not because I wanna prove him wrong but to prove myself that I can work in any circumstances. Got 1 sale, only one before I run out of time =( Must knock earlier next time. Must!
My baby girl having her exams, hopefully she's doing ok. Actually, I'm confident that she's doing it good, pretty confident. I have this fetish for smart, bright girl and that's the reason why she caught my attention in the 1st place. =)
Must... learn... to... sleep... early...
Wasn't motivated at all to knock but I couldn't let myself be without closing any sales just because I don't feel like it. I find it unprofessional. So i still carry on to knock not because I wanna prove him wrong but to prove myself that I can work in any circumstances. Got 1 sale, only one before I run out of time =( Must knock earlier next time. Must!
My baby girl having her exams, hopefully she's doing ok. Actually, I'm confident that she's doing it good, pretty confident. I have this fetish for smart, bright girl and that's the reason why she caught my attention in the 1st place. =)
Must... learn... to... sleep... early...
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
I'm on the way to back on track and therefore I must keep negative thoughts away from myself. The mind is stronger than the body. If I think of my aims and totally focus on it, I'll make it for sure. What people say is not what I am...
I'm feeling a lil' bit distanced from my baby girl and I hate it. Is it because of her exams coming up or it is because of my game schedule after work? I'm so gonna spend all my time with her after her exams =)
I'm feeling a lil' bit distanced from my baby girl and I hate it. Is it because of her exams coming up or it is because of my game schedule after work? I'm so gonna spend all my time with her after her exams =)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
As expected and as the way I want it to be, my birthday wasn't taken note of by anymore except the few. My baby girl stayed up till late just to wish me. Thank you sweetheart =) Next up was my closest friend, my bro, Aris. Thanks bro... And to everyone else who actually remembered, thanks =) Yean, thanks =)
Had a bad day canvassing today. Sometimes being nice just doesn't pay. I asked nicely if they are having any current services with my coy, what do I get? Vulgarities spewed into my face. Thanks but no thanks. The next time you wanna hurl verbal abuse at someone, remember, put nothing in between you and the victim especially a locked gate. At the very least, you could see the outcome of your creative use of words.
On the way home, I was asked the question, "Of everybody that knows you, I know you best." True, to some extend. The rest of the percentage, I don't think so. Everybody sees it the same way, my only problem is financial related. Yup, correct. 100%? No, I'm sorry. I won't ever explain, neither will I ever talk about it. As my baby girl always believe, "Virgo likes to keep to themselves" I have a troubled mind even when I'm earning anything. To some extend, I'm worried too much till I got lost as to what I'm worried of.
sigh.... time will be of much assistance I guess...
Had a bad day canvassing today. Sometimes being nice just doesn't pay. I asked nicely if they are having any current services with my coy, what do I get? Vulgarities spewed into my face. Thanks but no thanks. The next time you wanna hurl verbal abuse at someone, remember, put nothing in between you and the victim especially a locked gate. At the very least, you could see the outcome of your creative use of words.
On the way home, I was asked the question, "Of everybody that knows you, I know you best." True, to some extend. The rest of the percentage, I don't think so. Everybody sees it the same way, my only problem is financial related. Yup, correct. 100%? No, I'm sorry. I won't ever explain, neither will I ever talk about it. As my baby girl always believe, "Virgo likes to keep to themselves" I have a troubled mind even when I'm earning anything. To some extend, I'm worried too much till I got lost as to what I'm worried of.
sigh.... time will be of much assistance I guess...
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
I'm back to the point when I need to knock the entire blk for a single sale... wtf! I can't walk a lot now than before the accident and I have to force myself to walk from top to the btm. *sigh*
One thing I realised is, should you have no talent in a particular field, whatever you do, however hard you try, you can make it sure, but only to a mediocre level. It's this thought now that's making me depressed. All this while I'm lying to myself to go through and someday maybe I will be pretty good at it. Problem is, my thoughts rejecting my words of lies and I'm pretty depressed.
Consulting in friends doesn't help as people only comments and advised on what they see and feel. Guess I need professional help =/
One thing I realised is, should you have no talent in a particular field, whatever you do, however hard you try, you can make it sure, but only to a mediocre level. It's this thought now that's making me depressed. All this while I'm lying to myself to go through and someday maybe I will be pretty good at it. Problem is, my thoughts rejecting my words of lies and I'm pretty depressed.
Consulting in friends doesn't help as people only comments and advised on what they see and feel. Guess I need professional help =/
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Just finished DotA-ing! The coordination now is much better than previous matches =p tossing Alvin around is fun!
I miss someone. Miss her voice, miss her scent =(
Work was boring today. The blk sucks! It's not salesman friendly! The routes are messy! Didn't manage to close anything as I couldn't even be bothered to speak to anyone let alone negotiate. But we did earn a bit in another manner =D
I'm hungry...
I miss someone. Miss her voice, miss her scent =(
Work was boring today. The blk sucks! It's not salesman friendly! The routes are messy! Didn't manage to close anything as I couldn't even be bothered to speak to anyone let alone negotiate. But we did earn a bit in another manner =D
I'm hungry...
Monday, September 15, 2008
Just finished watching "Never Back Down". Review? It's a blank movie with ample action. Kickboxing vs Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. 'nuff said
Anyway, I regret going to work today. We were sitting at the void deck and talking cock throughout the 3 hours -,- If I had known there wasn't blk list with us yet, I wouldn't even be present.
Went to Geylang Serai bazaar afterwards to grab some Ramly burgers. This year the bazaar looks crappy, I don't even know where to start looking for food. When we found it, only limited choice of stalls. And guess what? The burgers taste aweful... Think I better drop the idea of bringing my baby girl to try the food... Along the way, I met my ex-lecturer! The man who taught me the hands on of IT! He's in the real estate now, just nice that I'm wanting to start my referrals =)
*yawn* it's late... time to... ZzZzZzZz....
Anyway, I regret going to work today. We were sitting at the void deck and talking cock throughout the 3 hours -,- If I had known there wasn't blk list with us yet, I wouldn't even be present.
Went to Geylang Serai bazaar afterwards to grab some Ramly burgers. This year the bazaar looks crappy, I don't even know where to start looking for food. When we found it, only limited choice of stalls. And guess what? The burgers taste aweful... Think I better drop the idea of bringing my baby girl to try the food... Along the way, I met my ex-lecturer! The man who taught me the hands on of IT! He's in the real estate now, just nice that I'm wanting to start my referrals =)
*yawn* it's late... time to... ZzZzZzZz....
Saturday, September 13, 2008
bad day, the whole day...
it has come to a point now that my only concern is myself and no one else. everybody else can go and die for all I care and if I do, please don't care, thank you. Don't wish to talk about it but yeah, that's how I'd like it to be.
It doesn't matter if I live for 2 years but with someone I love rather than live a thousand years with no one. I'm taking bike to work on Monday. My conscience is clear, I'm going to work and not going to race. By God's Will, my life is bad enough, I don't really think he's going to make it worse. Everything that happens, happened for a reason and not for fun. The previous accident happened because we thought we were the King of the road, we weren't and learn our lesson well. This time, it's for good...
To that special someone who resides in my heart, I promise you I won't die before our love ends, even if it's forever...
it has come to a point now that my only concern is myself and no one else. everybody else can go and die for all I care and if I do, please don't care, thank you. Don't wish to talk about it but yeah, that's how I'd like it to be.
It doesn't matter if I live for 2 years but with someone I love rather than live a thousand years with no one. I'm taking bike to work on Monday. My conscience is clear, I'm going to work and not going to race. By God's Will, my life is bad enough, I don't really think he's going to make it worse. Everything that happens, happened for a reason and not for fun. The previous accident happened because we thought we were the King of the road, we weren't and learn our lesson well. This time, it's for good...
To that special someone who resides in my heart, I promise you I won't die before our love ends, even if it's forever...
Today was a stupid day. No blk list, no blks. Wasting my time by going to work today.
Apparently, some people get rich by selling a $10 pen to the public. Ridiculous tactics by MLM, supported by mindless brainwashed individuals. Lucky me, I'm not as senseless *phew* These clueless robots really worshipped their "upline"... dumb...
So, in a relationship, the BF should always clap and cheer to what the GF prefers to do even if he doesn't like the idea? Friends doesn't equate to angels... they may be nice now, doesn't mean they are nice always. They are good opportunities and bad opportunities. Be smart
Apparently, some people get rich by selling a $10 pen to the public. Ridiculous tactics by MLM, supported by mindless brainwashed individuals. Lucky me, I'm not as senseless *phew* These clueless robots really worshipped their "upline"... dumb...
So, in a relationship, the BF should always clap and cheer to what the GF prefers to do even if he doesn't like the idea? Friends doesn't equate to angels... they may be nice now, doesn't mean they are nice always. They are good opportunities and bad opportunities. Be smart
Friday, September 12, 2008
Someone's bugging me to update my oh-so-dead blog and... erm... I'm trying... :)
So today is the 1st day I'm back to work after a 6 mths disappearance. Boy, was the holiday good. Although the 1st half of the holiday are all painful memories, the 2nd half was goooooood! :D (the best part was being able to see my piglet on a weekly basis)
Well, anyway, it's all not that bad now, yet. Have to admit I'm a tad lost on pitching and all but thanks to my colleagues, I made through the day... err... wait, night... *phew*
Let's see what tomorrow has in store for me :)
So today is the 1st day I'm back to work after a 6 mths disappearance. Boy, was the holiday good. Although the 1st half of the holiday are all painful memories, the 2nd half was goooooood! :D (the best part was being able to see my piglet on a weekly basis)
Well, anyway, it's all not that bad now, yet. Have to admit I'm a tad lost on pitching and all but thanks to my colleagues, I made through the day... err... wait, night... *phew*
Let's see what tomorrow has in store for me :)
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Friday, August 8, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sometimes, you have to be harsh when protecting your best interest. I don't mean to deprive someone off from their luxury of freedom but too much of it can become disastrous.
I just don't want history repeating itself. Saying " I know how to take care of myself " is easier said than done.
I don't wish to lose you, but I wish you would take a second thought about my advise. I'm not here to harm you but to love you...
I just don't want history repeating itself. Saying " I know how to take care of myself " is easier said than done.
I don't wish to lose you, but I wish you would take a second thought about my advise. I'm not here to harm you but to love you...
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Monday, May 12, 2008
Tore my bag in the accident and I'm currently in the market looking for a replacement. I'm down with 2 choices. Manhattan Portage Wallstreeter or Chrome Messenger Pack.
I'd be guessing a no. of people would be going "eeeew, ugly". But erm, I like what I see =D It's a matter of pulling it off ^_^
I'd be guessing a no. of people would be going "eeeew, ugly". But erm, I like what I see =D It's a matter of pulling it off ^_^
Friday, May 9, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
I've always wish I have my own personal space for my love of computers and networks...
Unfortunately it's not mine. Check out some of the nice home office system here, by nerdbusiness.com
Unfortunately it's not mine. Check out some of the nice home office system here, by nerdbusiness.com
Monday, April 14, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Some people just doesn't seem to possess no situation awareness at all, zero!
Went to the clinic today as usual for my regular change of wound dressing. Unfortunately, different Dr. Today wasn't Dr. Michael Chong but Dr. Ho.
I told the assistant at the counter that I cannot stand or sit too long or else I will have breathing difficulty. The assistant told us, we have to wait in line as the Dr. refuse to let us jump the queue. Great. I went home, with changing my wound dressing.
I'm not against the female species but somehow a minority of them are world class in being stupid. It's no wonder she's a Dr. in a small private clinic. Had she been a Dr. in a hospital, a lot of patients would have lost their lives.
Why? patients in a critical condition will be put on hold to their death.
Thanks Dr. Ho, thanks very much. Your name suits you well. In the black community, a ho is a prostitute. You are very much similar, bitch! Your turn will come...
Went to the clinic today as usual for my regular change of wound dressing. Unfortunately, different Dr. Today wasn't Dr. Michael Chong but Dr. Ho.
I told the assistant at the counter that I cannot stand or sit too long or else I will have breathing difficulty. The assistant told us, we have to wait in line as the Dr. refuse to let us jump the queue. Great. I went home, with changing my wound dressing.
I'm not against the female species but somehow a minority of them are world class in being stupid. It's no wonder she's a Dr. in a small private clinic. Had she been a Dr. in a hospital, a lot of patients would have lost their lives.
Why? patients in a critical condition will be put on hold to their death.
Thanks Dr. Ho, thanks very much. Your name suits you well. In the black community, a ho is a prostitute. You are very much similar, bitch! Your turn will come...
Monday, April 7, 2008
Today was appointment day. When I met the Dr, he introduced me to one of the nurse as the Bionic Man. Still puzzled so I ask him why he kept calling me Bionic Man / Miracle Man.
Told me, I wasn't supposed to be alive. The injuries I had would normally caused death. Liver rupture and my right lungs actually collapsed. They actually paralysed my breathing organs for 10 days and put me on machine support to aid me in my breathing.
During my stay in the ICU, he kept saying that I was damn fit which was a good thing, otherwise I would have died on the spot from the impact. All the Dr that I met kept saying I'm very lucky to survive.
Actually, thank God I survive. I still have tons of wishes I haven't fulfilled yet =D
Told me, I wasn't supposed to be alive. The injuries I had would normally caused death. Liver rupture and my right lungs actually collapsed. They actually paralysed my breathing organs for 10 days and put me on machine support to aid me in my breathing.
During my stay in the ICU, he kept saying that I was damn fit which was a good thing, otherwise I would have died on the spot from the impact. All the Dr that I met kept saying I'm very lucky to survive.
Actually, thank God I survive. I still have tons of wishes I haven't fulfilled yet =D
Sunday, April 6, 2008
My name's hidden meaning!
" You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!
You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. "
" You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.
You are very charming... dangerously so. You have the potential to break a lot of hearts.
You know how what you want, how to get it, and that you will get it.
You have the power to rule the world. Let's hope you're a benevolent dictator!
You are fair, honest, and logical. You are a natural leader, and people respect you.
You never give up, and you will succeed... even if it takes you a hundred tries.
You are rational enough to see every part of a problem. You are great at giving other people advice.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.
You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.
You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care. "
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
My horoscope!
I'm a metal Rooster!
" Rooster is often seen as the original strong silent type, not unlike the Humphrey Bogart and Greto Garbo prototypes. Most people consider them quite eccentric. Sad to say, relationships with other people are often strained. They are quite moody and can be too outspoken. They are often self-centered, but can be quite brave when the situation calls for it. On the other hand, Rooster People are quite talented and capable. They are always devoted to their work and have a reputation for being the hardest of workers. Rooster People are deep thinkers and are pioneers in spirit. They can experience the greatest of joy in complete solitude. Even though often alone, they rarely experience loneliness. Instead, they enjoy their own company and feel solitude helps them in their quest after knowledge.
Shark-tail Soup and fortune cookies are among the keys to good health.
Sometimes this one walks around with its head in the cumulus clouds, higher than the stars. You see, this rooster struts around with peacock feathers and they never ever ruffle. So much arrogance can make it hard to get along with others, especially when the Rooster is also intolerant of those who are less talented and a bit slower than normal. On the other hand, the Metal Rooster is extraordinarily talented. Of all twelve Zodiac signs, this one is probably the most high-minded of them all, with a very clean line of thought. The Metal Roosters can distinguish right from wrong very clearly and it doesn't matter which direction they pursue, they always wind up going the right way. If they confront a maze, or big problem, they will immediately see a solution because of their analytical, logical way of thinking. Through their perseverance, any hurricane becomes an orderly thing of beauty, just like that! When it's time for romance, the male Metal Rooster has no trouble at all, love just abounds; the female has a tendency to keep to herself, making connections less freely, but lastingly when they happen. "
Put in mind, not all are true about me =D
I'm a metal Rooster!
" Rooster is often seen as the original strong silent type, not unlike the Humphrey Bogart and Greto Garbo prototypes. Most people consider them quite eccentric. Sad to say, relationships with other people are often strained. They are quite moody and can be too outspoken. They are often self-centered, but can be quite brave when the situation calls for it. On the other hand, Rooster People are quite talented and capable. They are always devoted to their work and have a reputation for being the hardest of workers. Rooster People are deep thinkers and are pioneers in spirit. They can experience the greatest of joy in complete solitude. Even though often alone, they rarely experience loneliness. Instead, they enjoy their own company and feel solitude helps them in their quest after knowledge.
Shark-tail Soup and fortune cookies are among the keys to good health.
Sometimes this one walks around with its head in the cumulus clouds, higher than the stars. You see, this rooster struts around with peacock feathers and they never ever ruffle. So much arrogance can make it hard to get along with others, especially when the Rooster is also intolerant of those who are less talented and a bit slower than normal. On the other hand, the Metal Rooster is extraordinarily talented. Of all twelve Zodiac signs, this one is probably the most high-minded of them all, with a very clean line of thought. The Metal Roosters can distinguish right from wrong very clearly and it doesn't matter which direction they pursue, they always wind up going the right way. If they confront a maze, or big problem, they will immediately see a solution because of their analytical, logical way of thinking. Through their perseverance, any hurricane becomes an orderly thing of beauty, just like that! When it's time for romance, the male Metal Rooster has no trouble at all, love just abounds; the female has a tendency to keep to herself, making connections less freely, but lastingly when they happen. "
Put in mind, not all are true about me =D
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Went to NUH today for my 2nd appointment. My Dr wasn't available so his colleague attended to me instead. Changed the dressing and it was semi painful =p
Everything was going ok. Visited Aris then we went to have a late lunch. But the worst part was when going home. The massive jam nearly made me died on the way home.
Sigh
Everything was going ok. Visited Aris then we went to have a late lunch. But the worst part was when going home. The massive jam nearly made me died on the way home.
Sigh
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Went to the clinic today to wash my wound and change the wound dressing. The Dr look huge! Scare the shit outta me but found out that he's very nice and gentle.
It's a painful experience. Felt like my life was being sucked out of me. But I wanna get better soon so no choice, have to withstand all this pain.
My girl, Clare. Never in my life have I ever met a girl who love me this much. She would come to visit me almost everyday after school. My heart sees only her and no other girl. I've had my time, seen so much before. This girl will be the last I will ever love and cherish. I don't think any other girl can love this much and she can.
For your info, this is how I looked like during the 1st 4 days inside NUH after the accident
Heavily sedated with morphine that made me sleepy 24/7 for more than a week! Morphine!
It's a painful experience. Felt like my life was being sucked out of me. But I wanna get better soon so no choice, have to withstand all this pain.
My girl, Clare. Never in my life have I ever met a girl who love me this much. She would come to visit me almost everyday after school. My heart sees only her and no other girl. I've had my time, seen so much before. This girl will be the last I will ever love and cherish. I don't think any other girl can love this much and she can.
For your info, this is how I looked like during the 1st 4 days inside NUH after the accident
Heavily sedated with morphine that made me sleepy 24/7 for more than a week! Morphine!
Monday, March 17, 2008
1 Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with more than 6 guys..you're a HOE)
2 Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3 Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
4 Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him
5 Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
6 Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
7 Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
8 Guys get jealous easily.
9 Guys are more emotional than they'd
like people to think.
10 Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
11 Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
12 A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
13 Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
14 Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
15 Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
16 When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
17 If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
18 If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
19 When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
20 When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
21 Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
22 A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
23 Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
24 Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
25 Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
26 If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.
27 Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
28 When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible
2 Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
3 Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.
4 Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him
5 Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest.
6 Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.
7 Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.
8 Guys get jealous easily.
9 Guys are more emotional than they'd
like people to think.
10 Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.
11 Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.
12 A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.
13 Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.
14 Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.
15 Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.
16 When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."
17 If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.
18 If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.
19 When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.
20 When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.
21 Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.
22 A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.
23 Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.
24 Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.
25 Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.
26 If you are going to reject a guy, just do it. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it just hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you.
27 Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.
28 When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible
Had my haircut today. Now I look like a skeleton. Skinny and hairless. If my baby girl leave me for what I look like now, I'm gonna steal a bike and crash into a wall =(
I wanna get back on my feet ASAP. Back to work and back to my normal life but there's no way I'm ever gonna ride a bike again. Pillion or rider. I caused too many tears to flow, once is enough.
I still have my promise to my mum and my baby girl to keep. This time I'm lucky to be alive. Next time I won't be so lucky...
I wanna get back on my feet ASAP. Back to work and back to my normal life but there's no way I'm ever gonna ride a bike again. Pillion or rider. I caused too many tears to flow, once is enough.
I still have my promise to my mum and my baby girl to keep. This time I'm lucky to be alive. Next time I won't be so lucky...
Thursday, March 13, 2008
This marks the 2nd day since I got home from the hospital. Got involved in an accident. Regretted it the 2nd time I opened my eyes and saw the hospital lights. Was aware all the time that I was admitted to NUH.
My mum and brother told me, the night I was admitted, I was breathing with the aid of machines. Now. that's scary! The moment I saw my baby girl, I remembered my promise to her. " I won't die that easily " I was so scared when i saw my mum and older sister. Luckily I didn't get scolded for nearly dying.
The bike that I was sitting on as a pillion looks like this
Yes, I was the pillion and not the rider so you can imagine how I flew when the accident happened. Fortunately, my strong faith kept me alive. I've always have this faith that God won't allow me to die so easily. I'm living through hell all this moment and shit won't ever get worse for me.
Was in ICU for a week or so, then transferred to High Dependency ward for a week and then to normal ward for a day. My liver had a tear =( but no bones in my body cracked or broke.
Aight then, tired from sitting. I'm still thinking if I should get a new phone or a PSP slim instead?
My mum and brother told me, the night I was admitted, I was breathing with the aid of machines. Now. that's scary! The moment I saw my baby girl, I remembered my promise to her. " I won't die that easily " I was so scared when i saw my mum and older sister. Luckily I didn't get scolded for nearly dying.
The bike that I was sitting on as a pillion looks like this
Yes, I was the pillion and not the rider so you can imagine how I flew when the accident happened. Fortunately, my strong faith kept me alive. I've always have this faith that God won't allow me to die so easily. I'm living through hell all this moment and shit won't ever get worse for me.
Was in ICU for a week or so, then transferred to High Dependency ward for a week and then to normal ward for a day. My liver had a tear =( but no bones in my body cracked or broke.
Aight then, tired from sitting. I'm still thinking if I should get a new phone or a PSP slim instead?
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
The Best Valentine's Day Ever!
14th February 2008 marks the best Valentine's Day ever...
Had a great day today. No words can describe. Baby Taz kept smiling all day long! =D I'm gonna fall asleep smiling I guess =)
Had a great day today. No words can describe. Baby Taz kept smiling all day long! =D I'm gonna fall asleep smiling I guess =)
Friday, February 1, 2008
Aight, I'm about to fucking rant abt the day, the week, whatever...
English is the international language fucktards. Nothing else is! If you grow up in a place where everyone speaks other that english, stay there and don't wander around! Even on the internet, don't!
Internet cafes, owners, can you fucking pretty please don't set up one if you don't know what's going on? Install all these important softwares please? Flash plugin, Java Runtime, all the updated IMs, if you are using WinXP, update it!, get at least 512MB RAM in each system! Do you fucking know that WinXP uses up to 256MB upon booting up? Please, use proper routers and configure it properly! Type-able keyboards please. These that you provide making me grow muscles in each fingers! And a proper monitor! Not these fucking nearly colourless ones! Fucking retards... I know, if I don't like it, I can always go to another. The fucking problem is, there's not much here in this fucking region. Be a proper business bitch and not some junkie who only wants the fucking cash! Have some morale and dignity for God's sake!
ISPs! Please lay down your network diligently! If you can't, employ some professionals! I'm not a professional but looking at some "nice" speed here, I guess, it's some nasty work done instead.
And, fuck the people here. Get a job and not try to steal bikes instead. Bitch...
English is the international language fucktards. Nothing else is! If you grow up in a place where everyone speaks other that english, stay there and don't wander around! Even on the internet, don't!
Internet cafes, owners, can you fucking pretty please don't set up one if you don't know what's going on? Install all these important softwares please? Flash plugin, Java Runtime, all the updated IMs, if you are using WinXP, update it!, get at least 512MB RAM in each system! Do you fucking know that WinXP uses up to 256MB upon booting up? Please, use proper routers and configure it properly! Type-able keyboards please. These that you provide making me grow muscles in each fingers! And a proper monitor! Not these fucking nearly colourless ones! Fucking retards... I know, if I don't like it, I can always go to another. The fucking problem is, there's not much here in this fucking region. Be a proper business bitch and not some junkie who only wants the fucking cash! Have some morale and dignity for God's sake!
ISPs! Please lay down your network diligently! If you can't, employ some professionals! I'm not a professional but looking at some "nice" speed here, I guess, it's some nasty work done instead.
And, fuck the people here. Get a job and not try to steal bikes instead. Bitch...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
I have just logged in, the world's fastest internet speed... I think. Everything took ages to load! Imagine this, the fastest speed the ISP is providing is.... 384Kbps! w00t! Now that's what I call supersonic speed!
One thing I agreed with my aunt while chatting with her sometime back. The majority in this country use the internet for gaming and not for learning. But then, back in my school days, I do have classmates that came from here, another suburb though, and he's pretty bright! But taking a look around, these people have determination and drive that's lacking in my usual environment. If only they are guided properly... And less corruptions and stricter rules...
The corruption level here is truly unbelievable. People would take every single opportunity to increase oneself wealth through the the goodwill of others. Taking advantage at every single opportunity. It's getting better now but somehow, things are being overlooked on a certain level. I don't wish to get political but erm, that's the way it is here. To trace to the roots and wipe it out completely, I suggest luring in the small fishes 1st. They would lead to the big fishes naturally...
Ah well, this are just my rants for the day...
One thing I agreed with my aunt while chatting with her sometime back. The majority in this country use the internet for gaming and not for learning. But then, back in my school days, I do have classmates that came from here, another suburb though, and he's pretty bright! But taking a look around, these people have determination and drive that's lacking in my usual environment. If only they are guided properly... And less corruptions and stricter rules...
The corruption level here is truly unbelievable. People would take every single opportunity to increase oneself wealth through the the goodwill of others. Taking advantage at every single opportunity. It's getting better now but somehow, things are being overlooked on a certain level. I don't wish to get political but erm, that's the way it is here. To trace to the roots and wipe it out completely, I suggest luring in the small fishes 1st. They would lead to the big fishes naturally...
Ah well, this are just my rants for the day...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Definition
Love - When your like towards someone have no base at all, not for anything, just like... Unexplainable like? Enjoy someone's presence and misses it just as much...
Then I guess I've fallen. If I fell alone, then I'm just unfortunate...
Then I guess I've fallen. If I fell alone, then I'm just unfortunate...
Friday, January 18, 2008
I know now how slow is 56k internet! I've never actually surfed on a 56k before as my 1st internet connection is 1500k! =D Tried to download Yahoo! messenger and... no hope. It just won't finish downloading! Worse part is, the computer is slow as well... =/
And! I've just started my CSI:Miami! Weeee! Yay! 5 seasons on CSI:Miami goodness! Hehe! It's gonna be a great week! Solving crimes and watching David Caruso in actions!
And let's see, some pics which I randomly took out of boredom =p
A Sunflower! The colors a lil' off since it's a fake one =/
Erm... Billy The Kid used to lived here once, I think...
Some lane I will zoom past everytime =p
Pardon the PQ. It's a 2MP phone camera =/
Ah well, that's about it. I'll try snap more when I'm out next time (which is unfortunately, rare! It's too hot here to take a trip to anywhere in the daytime)
And! I've just started my CSI:Miami! Weeee! Yay! 5 seasons on CSI:Miami goodness! Hehe! It's gonna be a great week! Solving crimes and watching David Caruso in actions!
And let's see, some pics which I randomly took out of boredom =p
A Sunflower! The colors a lil' off since it's a fake one =/
Erm... Billy The Kid used to lived here once, I think...
Some lane I will zoom past everytime =p
Pardon the PQ. It's a 2MP phone camera =/
Ah well, that's about it. I'll try snap more when I'm out next time (which is unfortunately, rare! It's too hot here to take a trip to anywhere in the daytime)
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
My days of animes and TV shows!
Ima planned to fill all my days with animes and TV Shows and I did! Can't wait to start my CSI:Miami =D
Things seems to be a bit systematic here. Wake up at 12pm, bathe, eat lunch, watch animes, TV shows, movies till 1am with breaks in between (dinner, tit bits). Before I know it, it's gonna be 13th February!
Like Scofield, I've got everything all planned out. I'm just hoping it will work out fine.
Come to think of it, I have a thumbdrive, mmmm... maybe my next post I could fill it with pictures!
Aight, talking to my shorty now, must focus! I'll see when I can find the time to post again. Till then, cheerios!
Things seems to be a bit systematic here. Wake up at 12pm, bathe, eat lunch, watch animes, TV shows, movies till 1am with breaks in between (dinner, tit bits). Before I know it, it's gonna be 13th February!
Like Scofield, I've got everything all planned out. I'm just hoping it will work out fine.
Come to think of it, I have a thumbdrive, mmmm... maybe my next post I could fill it with pictures!
Aight, talking to my shorty now, must focus! I'll see when I can find the time to post again. Till then, cheerios!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The best days of my life
Today is the last of the best 3 days of my life, moments I could never forget. I wish it would last forever but then, if it does, I would never know what would her answer be.
Tomorrow, will be the start of my miserable 30 days. But this time, I would want to come back stronger, mentally and physically. I have something to fight for now, someone to fight for...
I've already prepared all my animes, movies and dramas to occupy my stay. Let's hope it's more than enough to occupy my time. I'll be looking forward to Fridays and Saturdays throughout my stay as it will be the only 2 days which I could interact with her.
And when I return, I just things would work out cause if it doesn't there's no point in returning...
Tomorrow, will be the start of my miserable 30 days. But this time, I would want to come back stronger, mentally and physically. I have something to fight for now, someone to fight for...
I've already prepared all my animes, movies and dramas to occupy my stay. Let's hope it's more than enough to occupy my time. I'll be looking forward to Fridays and Saturdays throughout my stay as it will be the only 2 days which I could interact with her.
And when I return, I just things would work out cause if it doesn't there's no point in returning...
Friday, January 11, 2008
-untitled-
*speechless*
I could only remember staring into her eyes the whole day... so mesmerizing...
I could only remember staring into her eyes the whole day... so mesmerizing...
Thursday, January 10, 2008
-untitled-
Today was a good day. Went out before work to settle some stuff. Had a late lunch though =/
Mmm... let's see. Today's work was a breeze. Walk through the blk, knocked on 3 doors and entered the 3rd door. Inside, I met a wonderful guy. The way his positive mind works, it's contagious! = O
He graduated from ITE and work through a few jobs that requires one to be a U graduate. When questioned of his capabilities, all he said was "Read". Come to think of it, it's been a while since I enjoyed a book. And with it, my mind withered as well. How sad =/
And he's living my dream, part of it at least. He bought himself a house before getting married! (The reason why I'm still not married yet I guess, can't afford it yet)
Education, is the key to secure yourself an interview. Experience and knowledge, to walk through your career like knife through butter. Wisdom, to make sure your future is well planned out...
Mmm... let's see. Today's work was a breeze. Walk through the blk, knocked on 3 doors and entered the 3rd door. Inside, I met a wonderful guy. The way his positive mind works, it's contagious! = O
He graduated from ITE and work through a few jobs that requires one to be a U graduate. When questioned of his capabilities, all he said was "Read". Come to think of it, it's been a while since I enjoyed a book. And with it, my mind withered as well. How sad =/
And he's living my dream, part of it at least. He bought himself a house before getting married! (The reason why I'm still not married yet I guess, can't afford it yet)
Education, is the key to secure yourself an interview. Experience and knowledge, to walk through your career like knife through butter. Wisdom, to make sure your future is well planned out...
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
-untitled-
It's 2am! I'm gonna get a scolding from her tomorrow for sleeping late for sure.
Well anyway, got myself a surprise today. Feeling bored so I just walk through the blk for open doors and coincidently, knocked on a door where the someone just moved in. This was how it goes,
" Hello Sir! I'm from *******. Is this you?" Pointing to the list. "Nope!" "Well Sir, at this moment..."
With an indian accent, "Well, I'm about to subscribe both your services" "Ah fantastic! Whatever your need, I can facilitate!" Went in, and you should know the rest =D (I did sat inside the house till 10PM) =p
Caught in the rain while going home. I just hope the thunder won't scare her =(
Well anyway, got myself a surprise today. Feeling bored so I just walk through the blk for open doors and coincidently, knocked on a door where the someone just moved in. This was how it goes,
" Hello Sir! I'm from *******. Is this you?" Pointing to the list. "Nope!" "Well Sir, at this moment..."
With an indian accent, "Well, I'm about to subscribe both your services" "Ah fantastic! Whatever your need, I can facilitate!" Went in, and you should know the rest =D (I did sat inside the house till 10PM) =p
Caught in the rain while going home. I just hope the thunder won't scare her =(
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Test
Testicles 1, 2... testicles 1, 2...
Someone asked me to keep a blog =/ I wonder, am I a good writer? O.o
Someone asked me to keep a blog =/ I wonder, am I a good writer? O.o
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.jpg)